I used to never set expectations, i was never excited or disappointed.
I think now, i'm more hopeful than other things. i'm hopeful that everything i do and put together is going to turn out well. i'm hopeful for what God has or doesn't have for me. my life is going well and its going well while i'm thinking that i'm going to have nothing. i dont want money. if i get it, i dont want to use/keep it. i dont think i could have thought of being dirt poor and extremely happy 2 years ago.
the only thing i think i'm hoping for personally is to share my life with someone who loves jesus past the point of giving it all. to quote john lennon, "love is all you need." i have more than that in jesus, but for some reason i want a girl.
I decided, now more than ever, that i want the next girl i date to be the last girl i marry. that's probably doesn't mesh with where God has me now, but i think i can date someone for 3 years without feeling confined and aching for a wedding ring. She would have to be some girl to be able to put up with me that long and understand the ministry i have here better than i do at this moment.

in other news, i'm finding myself longing for so much more. its a strange combination (hopefulness and a moaning for something greater). Where is the love i should be living? i have too many opportunities to love people, and i want to do it somewhere else. i love the thought of living with the homeless, but i have peers right here who need to see jesus too. This is a really big struggle for me that keeps God from so much.

So pray for this if you would,
1.that i can be content being single
2. that i can love my floor, my campus, this community the way that only God can. and that i can have the excitement and passion to do that over anything else.
3. that i can get a mission trip planned from me and shawn over the summer (central america? please God).

this post is beyond long so i'll save the talk of summer till another post.